Change of Pace
by WouldBeExorcist
Summary: Allen, Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda are in for a surprise when they encounter an akuma that can change your gender! Considering the sexist comments Lavi recently made, this is going to be interesting...
1. Chapter 1

-AN: This is my very first fanfic, so don't be too mean ;_; i should be able to upload Ch. 2 in a bit, so please follow the story! It gets better (and more amusing in a gender-bending kind of way), i swear-

"Lavi, hurry! Get on the train!" Lenalee cried, leaning out of the window of the moving train.  
Lavi sprinted alongside the carriages, trying to grab hold of the rail where two carriages met, and failing again and again. Just when he was about to give up and use his hammer, the door opened, and someone yelled out, "Crown Belt!"  
Lavi felt the ribbon-like bands wrap around his wrist, lifting him off the ground and slamming him onto the floor of the train. The redhead yelled out in pain.  
"Sorry about that," said Allen, always the agreeable type, helping Lavi get up.  
"No worries," replied Lavi, grinning as usual despite the scrapes.  
"Honestly!" huffed Lenalee, sighing, "What would we have done if you had been left behind? It would have been just like when we recruited Krory, Allen was left behind then too, and we wasted a lot of time waiting for you guys to catch up!"  
"Don't let the Count hear you say that, he'll think he's just an inconvenience to everyone again," Allen laughed.  
Kanda didn't say anything, just staring out of the window.  
"What's the matter, Yu? Are you wishing you were the one to rescue me?" Lavi said cheekily, plonking himself next to the surly exorcist.  
"Shut the hell up, stupid rabbit!" Kanda growled.  
"It was just a joke!" Lavi whimpered, using his hammer to stop Mugen from slicing into him.  
To keep them from arguing, Lenalee swapped seats with Lavi, so that Kanda was to her left and Allen was in front of her.  
"All that trouble for a dumb bento..." Lenalee sighed.  
"Allen was the one who was hungry..." Lavi pouted.  
"Yes, but you knew the train was about to leave, yet you still went to the station to get food!"  
"And of course, _you _wouldn't have made that mistake," Lavi grumbled.  
"No, I wouldn't have," Lenalee replied firmly, "and even if I had been the one to go get the food I would have been back in good time, with my Dark Boots."  
Lavi muttered something under his breath.  
"What was that?" Lenalee hissed.  
"I said, you girls always think you're so above us guys. You're all, 'ooh, we're so organised, why are you boys such idiots not getting to places on time and not cleaning your rooms and always getting into fights?!' Seriously..."  
Lenalee bristled, and Allen edged away. "Actually, we say that cuz it's all true! Have you seen your room! You can't even see the floor anymore! And you too Allen!" Allen gulped. "You and Kanda always get into fights and make trouble for the nurses in the infirmary! Seriously! I have to be the responsible one all the time, and I never get any thanks for it! You guys are all such idiots! Especially you, Lavi! You hit on girls left and right, and then you have the nerve to make sexist comments like that!" Other people in the carriage were turning their heads, looking concerned.  
Lenalee huffed and stared out the window, and she refused to talk to any of them for the rest of the trip.

"Toma!" Allen called out, excited to see the finder again.  
"It's nice to see you again, Master Walker," his friend replied. "Are you all aware of the situation here?"  
They stood at the station of a large town, people bustling along on the walkways, vendors selling their wares by the roadsides, and carriages clattering along.  
"People have been going missing, right?" asked Lenalee, finally breaking her cold silence in order to do her job.  
"Yes. This usually happens anyway, people walk home alone at night and are never seen again. But it's happening remarkably often in this particular town for some time now. Even stranger, many people have shown up out of the blue, claiming that they are among the missing people. Of course, the people are ignored, as they can't be the people they claim to be."  
"Why can't they?" asked Lavi.  
"All of the people who made claims like that are all invariably the opposite gender of the people they claim to be."  
"So, if a random guy went missing, and a random girl showed up claiming to be him a week later?" Allen questioned.  
"Yes, exactly," Toma confirmed. "Some have been sent to jail or even madhouses, but they are all adamant that they are who they say they are. It may be the work of akuma. That, or there may be Innocence to be found here."


	2. Chapter 2

-AN: Thank you to the people who veiwed my first chapter and are now following! Your reviews were all very nice, thank you. I feel so loved T^T I had fun writing Alicia's lines. I don't like her husband at all, though. Though I guess that's the point. The real gender-bending starts next chapter. I write relatively fast, so you won't have to wait long. Also, I worked out that this is placed between the move to the new HQ and the introduction of Timothy, so Lenalee's hair is shortish. DISCLAIMER: Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, Kanda, Krory and Toma all belong to Katsura Hoshino, I only own Jeremy and Alicia Farman, plus the abilities of the Level 2 akuma. Akuma also belong to Hoshino. Anyway, on to the story.

* * *

"You've got to be believe me, darling!" the man wailed, clutching at the bars of the prison cell.  
"Shut up, you idiot!" the portly mayor snapped. "You actually think that I should believe your ridiculous lies?"  
"But I'm not-!" the prisoner whimpered as the mayor snapped, "Shut up! You're definitely not my wife, so stop besmirching her name by saying that you're her, when you're obviously not!"  
The man fumed and turned to leave the jailhouse, when he found his way blocked by four young strangers.  
"Who are you kids? Get out of my way, I'm a busy man!" he snapped, before seeing Toma standing behind them. "Hey, I know you! You came around being nosy the other day! You people are all reporters trying to get a scandal on me, aren't you! Well, it won't work!"  
Lenalee stepped forward. "Please calm down, we're not reporters. We're from the Black Order."  
"The Black-?" the man spluttered, before seeing the emblems on their uniforms. "Ah, my apologies. I'm the mayor of this town, Jeremy Farman. H-How can I help you, miss?"  
"We'd like to know about the people going missing. Do you know anything about why this is happening?"  
Mr Farman shook his head. "There's not much to know. The police have no leads to follow as to where the people are. Often these people simply disappear off of the streets, and sometimes their houses are almost completely destroyed in the dead of the night. And of course, there are some idiots," he turned, glaring at the man in the cell, who was still whimpering tearfully, "like this one who show up out of the blue telling people their ridiculous tall tales. They're annoying more than anything, but some of them are even getting in the way of the police's investigations, so they get locked up in here."  
"What's the deal with that guy there?" Lavi asked.  
The mayor turned and glared at the man in disgust and answered, "That fool keeps saying he's my wife, Alicia. She went missing a few weeks ago."  
He turned back to them. "If you'll excuse me, I have work to do." And he walked out of the station and departed quickly.  
"Excuse me, but what's your name?" Allen asked, kneeling down in front of the crying man's cell.  
The man sniffed and wiped his tears away.  
"Alicia Farman," he said, before jumping and continuing before the exorcists could interrupt.  
"I know I look like a man right now, but you've got to believe me! No one else does..."  
Lenalee gave him/her a kind smile as she knelt beside Allen in front of the cell.  
"It's ok, we believe you. Could you tell us what happened when you became like this?"  
"I was at home, knitting, late at night a few days ago. It started raining suddenly, so I rushed out when I remembered that I had left some laundry outside. As I was about to bring it back into the house, I saw this strange object, like... like a hot air balloon, flying around, except it had guns all over it, and this horrible face right in the middle. As scared as I was of it, I followed it, until it came down and started conversing with someone. Well, it wasn't speaking, but the person was. I think he looked like a doctor, he was wearing a lab coat and was holding a big syringe. But then, the person saw me, and started coming towards me. Then... I can't remember anything else before I woke up in the street and tried to go home, but I was already like this, you see, and my husband had me put in jail." Alicia started sobbing all over again.  
In disgust, Kanda grumbled, "Well, that was absolutely no help!"  
Lenalee glanced at him reproachfully. "Actually, it's very helpful. There's obviously at least one akuma here, and possibly a broker as well.

* * *

It was night time, and the four exorcists stood in the town square, on guard for akuma.  
"Alicia did say this is where she saw the akuma, right?" Lavi asked.  
"Yeah, and the some of the other people say this is where-" Allen began.  
"Hey, shut up, beansprout," Kanda interrupted.  
"Why should I, Kanda, you jerk?! I wasn't even talking to you!"  
"No, really, shut up for a minute. I can hear something."  
When Allen and the other two fell silent, they could hear it too. A soft murmuring, too far away for their strained ears to hear.

"Could be someone talking in the houses," Lavi suggested, whispering.  
"No, I think its outside," Lenalee answered.  
Allen looked carefully around a corner, thankful for his good night vision.  
"Hey, over there!"  
The four of them could see a few large Level 1 akuma, floating in the street in front of someone. Like Alicia had said, the person appeared to be a doctor, in a white coat and with an abnormally large syringe, filled with a black liquid. He was the one talking, obviously to the Level 1s.  
"So? Is he human or an akuma?" Lenalee whispered.  
Allen's left eye reacted, and he could see three souls hovering above the akuma and the person.  
"Definitely an akuma. I think he's only a Level 2, so we should be able to destroy them without much trouble."  
As they were whispering, the Level 2 noticed them. He grinned.  
"More little rats, out past their bedtime?"


	3. Chapter 3

Allen groaned, trying to sit up. The morning mist had dampened his clothes, and he was freezing. He couldn't remember anything of the battle last night with the akuma. Forcing himself from the ground, he dusted bits of rubble from his clothes. His chest felt very sore, but he had to find his friends before he worried about himself. As he limped through the mist, he could suddenly make out a figure, coming towards him. He tensed, ready to use his weapon if necessary. After all, it might be an akuma.  
"Hello? Are you alright in there?" yelled the policeman, now clearly visible. Allen's eye didn't react, so he relaxed.  
"Yes, I'm fine," said Allen. "I just need to find my friends, then I'll be on my way. We'll give an address to the mayor later so he can get money for repairs. Sorry for all the damage to the square."  
"Ah...right," said the policeman, obviously a little confused. Allen started walking away.  
"If you're looking for someone, I saw a young lady wearing that uniform, she was near the fountain," the man called after Allen.  
"Thank you!" the exorcist called back. It must be Lenalee, he thought.  
The policeman continued on his way. "Pretty young girls like that really shouldn't walk alone so early in the morning."

Kanda was sitting by the ruined, leaking fountain when Allen approached, rubbing the back of his head where a lump had formed from hitting his head.  
"Kanda! Have you seen Lenalee or Lavi? I can't find them- Kanda, what the hell happened to you?!"  
Though his general features were the same, Kanda was completely different. His chest was buxom, his hands smaller and more delicate, and overall... ladylike. _Very _ladylike. Except said lady's expression was extremely _un_ladylike. The sort of expression that made you want to hide in a bomb shelter. Preferably in a different continent.  
Kanda snorted. "_Me?!_ Look down, bean sprout!"  
Allen blinked and looked down. Where his chest should have been perfectly flat, there were two gentle curves. That explains the chest pains, he (she?) thought dazedly. He then proceeded to start screaming.  
"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! IF MY MASTER SEES ME LIKE THIS...!"  
"How do you think I feel?" Lavi said miserably from behind Allen.  
When Allen turned to look at his redhead friend, he almost fainted from fright. Lavi's flaming red hair had lengthened a little, so it now reached his shoulders. Allen had never before realized how much Lavi would look like General Cross if his hair was longer. Like the other two, Lavi now looked like a quite pretty young girl, and, in fact, _was_ a pretty young girl.  
The three stopped shuddering and started looking around for Lenalee until Allen had a thought.  
"Lavi," he called, suddenly fearful of what they might find, "what if Lenalee-"  
"Your suspicions are correct, I'm afraid," Lenalee sighed sadly.  
When Lavi turned and saw a slightly larger, well-built, _male_ Lenalee standing there in her/his skirt, he could barely keep himself from laughing. Or vomiting. He couldn't really tell which he wanted to do.  
"Um...Lenalee...you look...um...wow."  
"Shut up!" she snapped, blushing like crazy. "Can I swap clothes with one of you?"  
"No way," Lavi and Kanda said simultaneously. Allen suddenly envisioned Kanda in Lenalee's frilly skirt, and grinned.  
"We'd better go find Toma," Lenalee said, sighing. She seemed to be doing that a lot these days.

Since Lavi's clothes were the most masculine (as well as the closest in size to the male Lenalee), they ended up swapping.  
Allen couldn't stop laughing at the sight of the traumatized Lavi in a skirt, and even Kanda smirked.  
"Wow, Lavi, you... look... amazing!" Allen gasped out, unable to breath from laughter.  
Toma, showing no change of expression, said "It's amazing. You four have really all changed genders. Are you sure you can't remember the events of last night?"  
"Nothing," said Lenalee, the clothes borrowed from Lavi fitting well. "I only remember up to the point when the akuma attacked. I remember destroying a few Level Ones, but I'm not sure about the Level Two..."  
"That was probably the one who did this. Though if that was the full effect of the akuma's ability isn't clear; after all, akuma are made to kill, not make strange and awkward situations by changing genders," Allen speculated.  
"Oh great, so it might have something worse than making me wear a skirt?" Lavi screeched theatrically."Yeah, killing you, dummy," said Lenalee. "I'm not too thrilled about wearing your clothes either, Lavi. When was the last time you washed these?"  
Lavi sighed. "On with that again. It's ok, Lenalee, you're a guy now, you can dump the prissy girlydom," she said sarcastically.  
Lenalee looked like he was about to explode. Allen prepared herself to take hold of the gender-swapped male exorcist to stop him from attacking Lavi.  
Suddenly, that raging fury emanating from Lenalee disappeared. He looked like a blind man seeing for the first time. "No, wait, this is perfect," he said, a scary grin slowly appearing on his face. "Now you can see just how difficult us girls have it, too! After all, you are a girl now!"  
Lavi gulped as her comrade stepped towards her, smiling like the Cheshire cat, an even scarier, evil aura turning the air to ice around them. "It'll be a nice change of pace for you, _Lavinia_."

* * *

AN: HELLO EVERYONE! Thank you all for your reviews, faves and follows. If you haven't done any of those, GET TO IT! *yoinks Mugen from Kanda* DO IT! FIRST ILLUSION! *Mugen insects chase readers towards the Follow, Review and Fave buttons* *hands back Mugen*  
OK. You may notice I started calling Allen and co. by their new genders (Allen=she, Lenalee=he, etc) after Lavi and Lenalee swapped clothes. I'm just doing that so that I don't get confused as to what to call them.  
As for the names, Lavinia is the closest female equivalent to Lavi that I could find. Not that I'm sure Lavi is a name in real life... I searched it up on one of those baby names websites for mothers. I'll have to find equivalents for Lenalee, Kanda and Allen too. Kanda can be Yuka (or something similar) and Allen can be...Allene? Helen? Helena? (Thank you, website-that-i-got-it-from-but-can't-actually-name. Thank you.) Tell me what you guys think? (don't say Allena. It's been done.)  
On other news...I CAN PLAY THE MUSICIAN'S SONG ON THE PIANO NOW. I CAN MOVE THE ARK. HUZZAH *opens gate and runs off to find Allen* PS. I can't even play the piano! I can only play the flute! I'm just like Allen!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Greetings, minions. *tears* Thank you for your kind words of encouragement... I had loads of fun writing Komui's reaction. Allen really shouldn't have told him. I was going to make it that Lavi and Allen were going to become Kanda's dentist instead of Lau Jimin's but then I thought that Kanda probably doesn't need a dentist because of his healing abilities... oh well, I'm sure Lau Jimin (General Klaud's monkey) is just as terrible to be a dentist for. Also, I can now play the 14th's song AND Lala's lullaby on the piano... I keep drifting back over to the piano and playing them.  
PS. I'm thinking of writing another fanfiction, one about Alma, and what the series would have been like if he had lived. I've already written a couple of chapters. Lots of feels in one of them. Though it might make the series a little dull, since obviously Alma would have made Kanda nicer over the years, less...him. What do you guys think? Should I write it? Should I wait until I've finished this first or just post it whenever I write it?  
PPS. Sorry if this seems too short. I'm just trying to keep you guys happy as quickly as I can ;_; shorter chapters means they come quicker, yes?  
DISCLAIMER: Everyone except the Farmans belong to Katsura Hoshino, and the story. And my soul. GOD DAMN IT JUMP, MOVE D. GRAY-MAN TO THE WEEKLY MAGAZINE. I'M SICK OF WAITING TO SEE WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED 35 YEARS AGO. I WISH CROSS OR BOOKMAN WOULD COME AND GIVE ME THE KIND OF HEADBUTT THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING LIKE THE DOCTOR DID TO CRAIG IN 'THE LODGER' EPISODE OF DOCTOR WHO.  
Author out.

* * *

Reever and Brigitte Fey watched Komui on the phone, making sure the lazy chief wasn't slacking off.  
"ALLEN... YOU MEAN... MY PRECIOUS BABY SISTER... MY DARLING LITTLE LENALEE...IS NOW MY PRECIOUS BABY BROTHER?!" Lenalee's older sibling was practically breathing fire.  
Half of the scientists present (Johnny, Cash, Jiji, Rob and a few others) turned and stared. You could see them visibly shudder at the thought of a male Lenalee in a skirt, serving them coffee.  
"YOU HAD BETTER GET HER BACK TO NORMAL OR I WILL UNLEASH KOMLIN XI, XII, XIII AND XIV ON YOU THREE AND I WILL MAKE YOU SCRUB EVERY FLOOR OF HEADQUARTERS AND YOU CAN CONSIDER YOURSELF LAU JIMIN'S DENTIST UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE."  
Allen rubbed her sore ear and put the telephone down, Komui having already hung up. She sighed.  
Since Komui had slammed the phone down as soon as he had finished, instead of pretending to still be on the phone as he normally did, Reever, Johnny and Rob tackled him.  
"You've still got more Komlins?! Do your job for once instead of wasting time!" the Science Section Head yelled.

"So? What did he say?" asked Lavi, who had been standing next to the phone booth.  
"He mostly just yelled at me and told me to turn Lenalee back to normal."  
"Not caring what happens to us as usual," Lavi said, sneezing a moment later. "Jeez, I'm freezing. How can Lenalee bear to wear this skimpy thing?"  
"Don't complain. We don't want her...him walking around in a skirt right now, do we? This was the best decision."  
"Lavinia! Helen!" Lenalee called out to the two, sitting with Kanda in a cafe. The four had decided to use names more appropriate for their current genders for the time being, at least when in public. As much as the boys objected, they may have drawn unwanted attention if there was girls going around male names, and vice versa. They definitely did not want to end up like Alicia Farman had. As Allen and Lavi crossed the street to get to the cafe, a waitress offered to refill the drinks of Lenalee and her 'lady friend'. Even from a distance, they could see Kanda itching to slice the poor girl up.  
"How'd you go?" Lavi asked, sliding herself into a chair. "Find any akuma, _Lee_?"  
"No, not a single one. How about you?"  
"Nope. Even _Helen's_ eye didn't pick up any."  
Kanda looked extremely mad.  
"What's the matter, _Yuko?" _Lavi asked, putting her face within a foot of Kanda's face, which is never a good idea.  
"Don't call me by my-!" Kanda faltered, remembering that Yuko, while similar to Yu, technically wasn't her first name. So she couldn't punish Lavi for calling her by her first name when the redhead called her that. Lavi smirked, realising this.  
"Hey, Yuko! Yuko! YUUUUKO! YUKO! You look _reeaally _frustrated now! Would going shopping or looking at good-looking guys like normal me make you feel better?" Lavi beamed, her eyes sparkling.  
Kanda snapped. "YOU STUPID RABBIT!" she yelled taking out Mugen and preparing to kill her companion. Lavi yelped and pulled out her hammer to block the sword. She closed her eyes and winced as the sword collided with her skull.  
"Ow!" she opened her eyes and rubbed her head. Mugen was completely black, and inactivated. Kanda frowned and took a swipe at Lavi again. The sword stayed black, even though she thought for it to activate, and it simply bounced, albeit painfully, off of Lavi's head. The redhead pouted, rubbing the painful lumps on her head, and glanced at her hammer.  
"That's weird, I thought I invoked..." Lavi's hammer, like Mugen, had remained inactivated and tiny.  
"Big hammer, little hammer, grow, grow, grow!" she said experimentally.  
"Mugen, unsheathe!" Kanda growled. Neither of their anti-akuma weapons responded.  
"Lee, Helen, try yours!" Lavi said, now worried.  
Both Allen and Lenalee tried to activate their innocences, but neither the blood-coloured anklets that Lenalee left around his ankles nor the cross in Allen's left hand changed at all.  
They were all seriously worried now.  
"I think we should go back to the hotel," Lenalee said.  
"Allen, behind you!" Lavi yelled.  
The waitress from before had come back, and as Allen turned around a gun protruded from the woman's body, her form exploding into that of a level one akuma.  
"Run!"  
As they took cover from the blood bullets that rained down on them, Allen's eyes were wide with shock.  
_What's wrong with the Crown Clown? And why didn't my eye sense that akuma? What is going on?!_


	5. Chapter 5

The akuma continued shooting, not aiming at all, occasionally hitting someone trying to run away. Allen and the others were hiding, suddenly unable to activate their innocence, and because of that, completely unable to fight an akuma, even one as weak as this.  
Suddenly, the shooting stopped completely. Allen risked a glance in the Level One's direction.  
The tragically sad face in the centre of the balloon-like monster was twisted in agony as the pentacle on its forehead rotated, slowly turning white and turning into a cross. Suddenly it exploded into sand and disappeared.  
Slowly, the four exorcists came out, looking at where the akuma was before.  
"You guys sure are lucky I showed up!" an arrogant-sounding young boy's voice called out, its owner hidden by the clouds of poison gas flowing in the air. Two figures appeared, their identities still hidden by the gas. Then one, considerably shorter than the other, started barrelling towards them.  
"Lenaleeee! Huh? Where'd your chest go? I didn't think you were this flat..." Timothy said, patting Lenalee's male chest.  
"The things you get up to when I'm not around, Walker," Howard Link said sarcastically.  
"Shut your mouth, Link," Allen hissed, pointing to his chest, "Do I look like I'm enjoying this?"  
"Are you?" Link asked innocently.  
"Why are you guys here?" Lavi questioned.  
"Komui said you guys were having trouble, so he sent me," Timothy answered  
"And you snuck off without me, Walker," Link grumbled.  
"Yeah, well, I got sick of you," Allen muttered.  
"What?!"  
"Anyway," Lenalee said, getting mad, "it's a good thing you did show up. Our anti-akuma weapons aren't working for some reason. And neither is Allen's eye."  
Link blinked (AN: hah. I made a rhyme.). "You mean they're broken?"  
Allen shook her head. "No, we can't invoke at all. Even my arm. It's like we're not even accommodators anymore."

"There is absolutely NO WAY you're sleeping in here," said Allen firmly.  
Link was fighting internally whether to be a gentleman and sleep in a different room, or to follow his orders to the letter and not let Allen out of his sight.  
"I have my orders. I have to watch you at all times," the former Crow said, unable to keep his obvious discomfort out of his voice.  
"Screw your orders! No way I'm sleeping in the same room as you while I'm like this!" Lavi protested.  
"Get your own room, watchdog," Kanda growled.  
"Sleep with Lenalee and Timothy or something," Lavi suggested.  
"No! Timothy is one thing, I don't want him in my room!" Lenalee protested. "No offence," he added.  
"I'm not going to ignore Inspector Rouvelier's orders."  
"Link, if you haven't noticed, _none of us like Rouvelier. _I'm pretty sure you're the only person in the world who does," Lavi said venomously. "And even if you're a Crow, AND even if our Innocence isn't working, the five of us can still kick your ass. So shut up and get your own room."  
Link had no comeback for this.

"Me and Link'll go looking for the akuma, you guys should stay here," Timothy announced the next morning.  
"Why the hell should I do that, brat? No way I'm spending the day cooped up with these two," Kanda snarled, jabbing a thumb at Lavi and Allen.  
"No, it makes sense," Lenalee interrupted. "The uniforms we wear make us obvious targets to the enemy. If we go out wearing them while our weapons aren't working, then we're all too easy to kill. We got lucky last time."  
"No way! I'm not staying here all day!" Lavi proclaimed, jumping to her feet. "Sure, I'm a girl right now, but I'm still hot! Might as well take advantage of the situation and find a public bath..." she flinched, seeing the look on Lenalee's face.  
"NOW THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY YOU'RE LEAVING THIS HOTEL," Lenalee said, the air around him bursting into flames.  
"Uh! Wait! Lenalee! I was kidding! Um, you were saying we shouldn't wear the uniforms, right? Why don't I go out and get us some normal clothes to wear?! Huh?! That'll be ok, right?!" Lavi whimpered.  
With the word 'clothes', all of Lenalee's destructive aura suddenly disappeared.  
The air around him was now practically glittering, and her eyes were wide at simply the thought of getting girly clothes for his until recently male friends to wear.  
"Hold on..." Kanda said uneasily.  
"We don't..." Allen started to protest.  
"YES. Everyone, we're going shopping," Lenalee said firmly, swiftly shutting down all hopes of escape. Right now, spending a day stuck in a room with Allen and Lavi was looking pretty good to Kanda.

* * *

AN: YIPPEE new chapter. Sorry about the wait, my nakama. Unfortunately for all existence, school is back, so I must return to my studies. Chapters will keep coming though, just slower.  
Kanda: They were at snail's pace anyway. Stop keeping the readers hanging, you stupid girl!  
Now now, Kanda. Don't make me kill you off.  
Lavi: Don't worry, Yu. She's too in love with you to do that. Besides, (DISCLAIMER) WouldBeExorcist doesn't own you, or any of us, or D. Gray-man in general, so she can't really kill you.  
True. BUT I CAN STILL MAKE YOU WEAR A SKIRT. Speaking of which, our beloved characters go shopping in the next episode. *gives Kanda the evil fangirl eyes*  
I'm thinking of introducing Marie into the story as well as Link and Timothy. I can just imagine him trying not to laugh at Kanda. Come to think about it, I said a while ago that this was pre-Timothy... oh well.  
Anyway. Lavi already gave a half-decent Disclaimer, so that's about it. TTFN, Tata for now!


	6. Chapter 6

"God, whatever I did to make you hate me so much, I am sorry. Please stop making me suffer already," Lavi moaned.  
"Why do bad things always happen to me? Is it because I'm cursed?" Allen groaned.  
"Che."  
"Hmm, it should probably be practical... so I guess bustles are out. Too bad, you would have looked good in one, Helen."  
Lenalee pulled yet another skirt from a rack and shoved it into Allen's arms. The white-haired girl was barely managing to hold the mountain of women's clothing without dropping them. Lavi and Kanda were having the same problem. In fact, Kanda had more than either of them. Probably so that she wouldn't be able to kill anyone who decided to come near her. Not that she wouldn't try.  
"Ok, now go and try those on," Lenalee said, pointing to the change rooms.  
"ALL of them?" Lavi whined.  
"Every last blouse, skirt and dress," Lenalee said firmly. "And you have to show me how each item looks on you."  
Letting loose a stream of curses, most of them Allen didn't know or want to know the meaning of, Kanda went first.  
"We'll, er, HELP her," Allen said, leaving her pile next to Lenalee.  
"WAIT! YUKO, ESCAPING THROUGH THE WINDOW WON'T SOLVE ANYTHING! JUST GET IT OUT OF THE WAY!"  
"HELL NO! AND DON'T CALL ME YUKO, I DON'T CARE IF IT'S NOT REALLY MY NAME! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM WEARING A SKIRT. NO WAY IN- BEAN SPROUT, DON'T YOU DARE- GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!"  
"OW! KANDA! JUST WEAR THE DAMN THING! IT'LL ONLY TAKE A SECOND!"  
"LET GO OF MY ARMS, RABBIT! THERE'S NO WAY THIS IS LEGAL!"  
People in the shop were beginning to stare at the change rooms. They all looked very worried. Lenalee and Link tried to ignore the people staring at them as well.  
The three girls finally emerged. Kanda was wearing a cream high-collared blouse with puffed sleeves, and a light blue Empire skirt. Despite its light colours, it surprisingly suited her.  
"I will kill you all... every last one of you..." she muttered repeatedly under her breath.  
After an hour or two, they managed to get Kanda to try on all the outfits. However, they all ('they' obviously not including Kanda) decided that the first outfit was best.  
"What the hell happened to practical?" Kanda hissed.  
Lenalee didn't answer her. "Helen, your turn."  
Allen blinked before realising that Lavi was already pushing her towards the changerooms.  
"Gah, NO!"  
"What goes around comes around, bean sprout," Kanda called out to the poor white-haired girl.  
They managed to decide on a russet square-dancing skirt with a loose white shirt and matching flats for Allen. The poor girl stood shuddering next to Link (who was going through some kind of mental trauma) as Lenalee fawned over how _adorable _she looked.  
Then Lavi realised. It was her turn next. She started slowly backing away from the small group, intending to make her escape. She didn't have her hammer's "Extend" ability at the moment, but she would be able to get a good head start at least if she ran.  
"Where do you think you're going, Lavi?" Timothy said from behind the redhead, grinning evilly. The small boy wasn't going to pass up the chance to see all three of the boy-girls in girl's clothes.  
Allen and Kanda turned, spotting Lavi trying to shush Timothy and get away. They immediately grabbed her arms, dragging her to the changerooms.  
"Nooo! Allen! I thought we were friends! This is an outright violation of the Bro Code!"  
"Sorry, Lavi. You got us into this mess. No way you're not suffering the same as us."  
Far louder than Allen's hopeless protests and Kanda's violent anger, Lavi's screams could be faintly heard even by Alicia Farman, stuck in her cell.

Lavi trembled with mixed feelings of horror and disgust as the group walked in full view of the public eye. Her frilly sea-green blouse and white skirt with leggings were undeniably _cute_ and _girly_. Allen, meanwhile, was used to her outfit, which really wasn't all that bad, and Kanda's fury had been reduced from prophecies of the entire group's violent murder by her hands to simple "Che"s from time to time. Lenalee, on the other hand, was walking quite happily in an outfit not too different from Allen's usual casual outfit.  
"So, where are we going now? Are we just going to search for the akuma?" Allen asked.  
Link didn't answer, only glancing behind him cautiously at the grumpy Kanda. They stopped at the train station.  
"What? Are we leaving?" Lenalee protested.  
"No, we're picking up Marie. He got left behind at the last station, but he should be here by now," said Timothy innocently.  
Kanda froze. "Stop him. Tell him to go home. Tell him we beat the akuma."  
Link shrugged. "Too late. He got on the train early this morning, so he should be here any moment now."  
Kanda was a mix of furious and mortified. He would not by any circumstances let Marie, of all people, to see (or hear, or be generally near) him like this. Marie was one of the few people in the entire Order who wasn't a complete idiot (still an idiot, but not a complete one like Lavi or Allen). Him seeing Kanda like this would undoubtedly make him act like as much of an idiot as the rest of him.  
"Oh, there he is!" said Lenalee happily. "Over here, Marie!" he called out.  
The lumbering gentle giant of an Exorcist made his way over to them, carefully listening in to his headphones to make sure he didn't knock into anyone in his blindness.  
"Hi guys," he rumbled. "Sorry about getting left behind, Link."  
"Don't mention it."  
Allen mouthed 'does he know?' to link silently, pointing to her chest. Link shook his head.  
Kanda held her breath and remained completely still. It was the only chance she had of Marie not noticing her. There was no way in hell she would let Marie realise she was a girl.  
Marie counted the people he heard. The ones he knew, anyway. Lenalee was to his left, Timothy was next to her (AN: Notice the her. Marie doesn't realise yet XD), Link next to Timothy, then Allen, and then Lavi to his right. He couldn't hear Kanda anywhere.  
"Where's Kanda? I thought he was here with you guys," he said, curious.  
"Kanda's right next to me, Marie," Allen said, trying not to laugh. "Between me and Link."  
"Oh, ok." Marie still couldn't hear Kanda. He _could_, however, hear Lavi and Allen trying desperately to hide their oddly high-pitched giggles.  
"You guys aren't trying to mess with me, are you?" he asked uneasily. "I can't hear him."  
Lavi realised what Kanda was doing and whacked the swordsman on the back, knocking the breath out of him. Very audibly.  
"Oh, there you are. Why are you trying to hide, Kanda? You know I hate it when you do that-".  
Marie had walked forward, and meant to put his hand on Kanda's shoulders. But because he still hadn't had a totally clear idea of where Kanda was, he accidentally put his hand a little lower. On Kanda's chest. (AN: Marie, you dirty dog.)  
"Oh, sorry, Lenalee," he apologized, quickly retracting his hand.  
"Marie... I'm over here..." Lenalee said, losing the battle to keep the amusement out of his voice.  
"Wait...Wha...Huh?!" Marie said, thouroughly confused. Then he noticed the difference in Lenalee's voice.  
"Huuuuh?!" he said incredulously as Allen, Lavi, Lenalee and Timothy all started cracking up. Then he worked it out. "HUUUUUUHHH?!" he said.  
"Marie... I will freaking kill you..." Kanda snarled, no longer bothering to hide. Marie blinked. Then snorted. For several minutes, the only people in the group in front of the station not lying on the ground, fighting for breath as they roared with laughter, were Kanda and Link. The former being thoroughly miserable and furious, the latter generally not one to partake in things like this. He did allow himself to smirk, though.  
"Oh my God... Kanda... What the hell... Why the hell are you a girl?!" Marie choked, laughing. "And why are Allen and Lavi girls?! Oh jeez, this is too weird!"  
"It's a long... long story... it's too bad you can't see his outfit right now, Marie!"  
"Oh God! Is...Is he...Is SHE WEARING A SKIRT?!" Marie roared.  
Oh, how Kanda wished Mugen was working right now. She was in the mood to kill idiots.

* * *

AN- Happy Day after Valentine's Day, everyone! *reads entire chapter again* PFFFFT. I'm such a perv. Why on Earth did I make Marie touch Kanda's chest...?  
Lavi: Scary. This is why you shouldn't be rude to the author, Yu.  
Lenalee: I think this whole thing has been just one big 'insult to injury' for Kanda.  
You're completely right, Lenalee. I guess I just love tormenting Kanda.  
Lavi: If that's the case, you and I will get along famously.  
Kanda: I hate you all...  
Link: Since I seem to be the only reasonable person left in this entire group, I shall do the disclaimer. *ahem* WouldBeExorcist does not own D. Gray-man. This includes its characters, plot, and- what do you call it?  
General awesomeness?  
Link: Yes, that. Apparently this series also holds the deeds to her soul and happiness.  
Good job, Link. I might forgive you for being so totally in love with that complete and utter bastard Rouvelier (Good God, man, you have terrible taste. At least choose a dude that doesn't look like Hitler, let alone act like him).  
I'm not exactly sure what to do for the next chapter. Should I get back to seriousness and battles with akuma and whatnot, or shall I produce more Kanda and Lavi-torturing nonsense?  
Everyone except Kanda and Lavi (and Rouvelier because he doesn't get to vote, and never will): Nonsense.  
The characters have spoken. Give me some ideas if you have any good ones, guys. Remember, this is after Timothy, but (obviously) before Alma. So keep your ideas within that time-frame. Thank you!  
Oh, and remember that little button, Review? I think you should click it. Thanks again, and sayonara, nakama!  
-PS. Bustles are those dresses with the big behinds. Google them, you'll know it when you see it. Empire skirts go quite far up the waist in comparison to normal skirts. Apparently those were worn in the 18th century. I dunno, I wasn't around back then (NO FREAKING DUH).  
-PPS. Sorry if I occasionally call Allen, Kanda, Lavi or Lenalee by their real genders by accident (it was on purpose when Marie was talking). Ok, now its really goodbye (for now).


	7. Chapter 7

"I said I was sorry!"  
"Che!"  
Marie was still grinning as the company split into two in order to cover more ground. Kanda had adamantly refused to be in the same group as Lavi or Marie, and there had to be a non-obsolete exorcist in each group. So the groups were: Kanda, Allen, Timothy and Link, and Marie, Lavi, Lenalee and Toma. Kanda was so humiliated and furious that she wasn't talking to anyone. Which meant for once she wasn't arguing with Allen.  
Lavi yawned and stretched. "Man, laughing like that always makes me tired."  
"I could give you a piggy-back if you want," Marie offered.  
Lavi laughed again. "Thanks, but no thanks. I may look like a girl, but I still have my manly pride."  
Lenalee snorted. "Admit it, Lavinia. You lost your pride the moment you put on my skirt."  
Lavi pouted, a little miffed.  
They stopped at the police station to visit Alicia and to see whether there had been any more victims.  
"Hi, Alicia," Lenalee said, squatting in front of the mayor's wife's cell and smiling. "How are you doing?"  
"Um, have we met?" the man said, obviously a little confused. Lenalee remembered that he was a guy now; Alicia wouldn't realise who he was.  
"Um, you know those guys and the girl who visited you the other day, wearing uniforms like his?" he said, pointing to Marie. "We're with them."  
"Oh, I see," Alicia said, "Are they ok? They said they were going to find those monsters I saw; did something happen to them?"  
"They're fine," Lenalee assured, "They're just… busy at the moment. I'm sure they'll come and see you again once everything's been sorted out."  
It was early in the morning; a few drunks were staggering around in the street as Lavi stood outside the police station, keeping watch for any akuma that might have seen Marie's uniform and followed them. Two guys, leaning on each other for support, saw her and wobbled over.  
"Hey, honey, you lost? We could get you back to your hotel for you," one of them slurred. Lavi shook his head. One does not simply get lost when you're a future Bookman. "I'm fine, thanks. You guys should worry about getting home yourselves."  
"Ohhh, so you wanna come over to our place instead, gorgeous? That's cool, can't say anythin' good about the smell though…" the other guy said.  
Lavi was beginning to get annoyed. These guys were obviously hitting on her. Pervs (AN: Yeah, like you can talk, Lavi!). Though she had to admit, they had good taste.  
"I'm not interested," she said firmly.  
"Aw, don't be like that, sweetcheeks! Come on, come and have a little fun with us!" one of them grabbed her shoulder and started pulling her towards him.  
"No way-" Lavi stopped when he felt a large shadow fall over him. He turned, seeing Marie looming over them. The drunks looked up, obviously more than a little intimidated.  
"I think you two should go home before there's any trouble," Marie said coldly. He was almost as scary as Kanda. Almost.  
The guys quickly went on their way.  
"Thanks for that, Marie," Lavi said, sighing with relief. "Those guys were total lechers."  
"Like you, you mean?" Marie said, grinning.  
"Hey! Rude! I'm not a lecher! I'm just...a fan of beautiful ladies."  
"Right."

Meanwhile, Allen's group wasn't having much fun either. For some reason that was totally beyond Allen's comprehension, Link was getting lots of second glances from women and whispers. She would admit, he didn't look too unappealing now that that ridiculous fringe of his had grown out slightly, plus he wasn't wearing that stupid Central Agency suit that matched Rouvelier's. But for God's sake, there was a limit! Maybe it was just because Link had two cute girls and a small boy with him (of course, it was much easier for Allen to call herself and Kanda _cute_ than it was to call Link good-looking. Being followed around and monitored 24/7 doesn't really make you like a guy. Especially when that guy wasn't particularly likeable in the first place) . Yeah, that's it. Those girls were probably just jealous of her and Kanda.  
Suddenly, the four of them felt a gentle rumbling shake the street. Link looked at a nearby cafe on the roadside; the drinks were trembling in their cups.  
A giant robot with the letter 'K' on the side in purple hovered down onto the street, sending many people screaming and running away.  
"Komlin?!" said Allen.  
_"Hellooo everyone!" _cried the familiar voice of a certain annoying, overprotective scientist over a loudspeaker in the robot's chest.  
"Komui!" they groaned. Allen cursed under her breath. How could she have forgotten Lenalee's brother's threat of sending Komlins after them?  
_"I decided because you guys hadn't sent me a message or anything you obviously haven't returned my baby sister back to her sweet, adorable female self! So, it's time for you to be punished," _snarled Komui.  
A huge number of missiles practically flooded from guns attached to Komlin's arms, flying straight for them.  
"You fool! We're in the middle of a busy street!" bellowed Link. "And why am I getting chased?!"  
_"Gahahaha! You're equally responsible! You being there hasn't helped get my Lenalee back to normal; you must be punished too!"  
_Komlin started walking forward, its six legs leaving large craters in the road. It quickly picked up speed, its single eye locking onto the four.  
"Run!" Timothy yelled hysterically. Just then, one of Komlin's huge legs stomped down near Kanda and the Parisian boy, sending the both of them flying out of sight.  
"Don't stop, Walker!" Link yelled. "Just keep running! They can look after themselves."  
Reluctantly, Allen kept running. Seeing Timothy sprawled out where he landed several metres away, she scooped him up while keeping an eye out for Kanda. Komlin went after them.

Lenalee looked at his pocket watch. "They're late," he sighed, worried about her friends. He hoped Kanda and Allen had just stopped somewhere and were too busy arguing to realise that it was time for them to meet up again.  
"Maybe Yuko and Helen started arguing and forgot about the time," Lavi said, echoing his thoughts.  
Suddenly, they could hear a loud crashing noise and what sounded like insane laughter over a loudspeaker. Just then, Link, Allen and Timothy sped around a corner, running straight for Lenalee, Lavi, Marie and Toma. Komlin zoomed after them, clipping a building and nearly destroying it in its haste to capture its targets.  
"Komui!" Lavi groaned.  
Allen dashed up to the redhead and hid behind her in fear, the now conscious Timothy latched onto her in fear of the massive robot.  
"Brother, stop right now!" Lenalee yelled. He couldn't see Komui, but he was probably hiding in Komlin's cockpit or something.  
_"Oh, hi, Lenalee!"_ Komui said cheerfully. _"Don't worry, I'll take care of these bastards who're responsible for your transformation! You just come up here and relax!"  
_As the king of sister complexes spoke, a small door on Komlin's side opened and a ladder was lowered to the ground through it.  
"Oh, I'm coming up there alright! I hope you have a first aid kit up there!" Lenalee growled, dashing up to Komlin and quickly climbing the ladder.  
He pulled himself into a small room inside Komlin, with a large glass window looking out onto the street. Komui was nowhere to be seen.  
"Get out here, brother!"  
Suddenly a small computer moniter turned, and Lenalee saw his brother grinning at him.  
"Hello! Did you actually think I'd be able to get out of HQ with Reever and Ms Fey on my back? I'm using this to watch."  
Lenalee stomped up to the screen and stared straight into the camera that was sending his image to Komui.  
"Call Komlin off. Right now. You're destroying the town," he said angrily.  
"Uh, I can't? There's not an off button or anything. Certainly not inside Komlin's cockpit." Komui said, looking uncomfortable. Lenalee noticed a big red button on the table of science equipment and controls, labelled OFF BUTTON. WARNING: WILL RENDER KOMLIN USELESS FOR ALL ETERNITY. NEVER PRESS. EVER. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE LENALEE. IF YOU ARE LENALEE THEN THIS BUTTON DOES NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.  
"D-Don't press that button!" Komui wailed as Lenalee slammed his hand down on it. Komlin made an odd bleeping noise for a second, then stopped moving and collapsed on the road.  
Lenalee sighed in relief and looked at the monitor his brother's face had been on a moment ago. Its power source also been turned off, so it was now useless as well. Lenalee made a mental note to kick Komui when they got home.  
Allen and Lavi caught their breath as he descended down the ladder and walked back towards them.  
"You two ok? Link? Marie? Timothy? Kanda?"  
"Uh... about that..." Allen started.  
"We kind of..." Timothy continued.  
"Lost Yu Kanda," Link finished grimly.

"You did what now?!"

* * *

*frolics in field of flowers that is Fanfiction dot net* HELLO MY DEARS! I HAVE RETURNED!  
I apologise for the lack of new chapters since the 15th. My teachers were piling so much homework on me that I had to work for around 4-5 hours a day just to finish it all. And then I'd have to go straight to bed. No time to work on Change of Pace.  
Big news, people of the internet. I HAVE A KITTEN! My birthday is on the 11th (I better get some happy birthdays, grr), so for a present my mum and I went to a pet shop and much to my dad's despair, we brought back a kitten. But I am super excited because I've wanted a cat since forever and always. She's black and white, very cute and cuddly and HAS NO LIMIT of energy. So I spent most of the evening playing with her. Now. My family is having trouble picking a name. They want to name her Apples. I hope there are some Red Vs Blue fans who understand that reference. If so, good for you. Have a cookie and some orange juice.  
Anyway, here are the names I am considering giving her:  
Lulu Bell,  
Yuko (XD because Yu is a boys name)  
Yuki (because it sounds nicer to me than Yuko, plus the Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya is a good series)  
Tama (my current favourite)  
and Midori.  
If you have an opinion on these names or a suggestion, please send them with your reviews. Speaking of which, I TOLD YOU TO CLICK THE BUTTON. Y U NO CLICK IT. BAKA. *grabs Judgement and fires bullets at you* REVIEW! IMMEDIATELY! IF NOT SOONER!  
I'd like to thank The Accomplice, for her listening to my ranting and raving and ranting and raving back, and her being generally awesome. I gave her some rules for chapter 5 of the DGM Rulebook (which is awesome. Check it out), and she gave me the idea of putting Komlin in this chapter. So lots of mitarashi dango for her. Hi Accomplice. I bet you didn't expect this, did ya? BAHAHA. *wave*  
I've fallen in love with Link's anime voice. IT IS MAGNIFICENT. IT IS PERFECT. IT IS PERFECT FOR HIM. *dies*  
I'll try and update on my birthday, so I can make you all jealous with describing my prezzies in great detail. Including my cat. And her adventures. She detests my brother's old winnie the pooh teddy. She can't stand the sight of it. She also dislikes my dog. And the British flag.  
Link, Marie, Lenalee and Allen will be traumatized next chapter. Of course, Lavi and Timothy will find the whole thing hilarious. No more clues! No review and help me with the name for my cat! If they are anime or manga related, also send what series they're from. That would be helpful.  
Oh yeah, Marie. Do the disclaimer while I go to bed.  
Lavi: Can I come too? *wink wink*  
...No.  
Marie: Um... Ok then. WouldBeExorcist does not own D. Gray-man or any of its characters. This is just fanfiction. She does not make any money off of this.  
Which is why I'm broke T^T  
Marie: By the way... LAST CHAPTER. WHAT WAS THAT.  
Just having fun with my gender-bender :) Don't you worry your little bald head about it, Marie. I won't tell Miranda. (PS. I SHIP MARIE AND MIRANDA.)  
PPS. I heard someone mention Johnny Cash on the radio this morning. My first thought was: JOHNNY GIL AND CASH DOPP. I need a life -_-  
Arigatou gozaimasu, and goodnight! And remember, reviews save lives. Your lives, that is. Sweet dreams.


	8. Chapter 8

"Kandaaa!" called Timothy.  
"Kanda, where are you?" Lenalee cried.  
"Where are you, Bakanda?!" yelled Allen.  
"Kanda Yu!" Link called.  
"Master Kanda!"  
"Kanda!" Marie shouted.  
"YUUUUUKOOOOO!" bellowed Lavi in the street. "YUKO! WHERE ARE YA, BUDDY?!"  
Allen moaned in exhaustion. "Lavi, if Kanda could hear us, I'm pretty sure you'd have died half an hour ago. Why do you keep yelling that?"  
"Allen, my friend, nothing spells out friendship like patience and trust in Kanda's ability to hear things he considers to be offensive and find and slaughter the poor sap who said it. Plus, I'm enjoying this. YUUUUUKOOOO! COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!"  
However, Kanda must have either been avoiding them all somehow, or she was in some sort of situation that prevented her from turning Lavi's back skin into a lamp shade. Or carving chess pieces out of his teeth. Or something similarly gory.  
At the top of her voice, Lavi screamed, "YUKO! IF YOU DON'T COME OUT IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS, I'LL TELL ALLEN ABOUT YOUR FIRST KISS!" (AN: For those of you that don't know about the horrors of Kanda's first kiss, look up D. Gray-man Reverse: The maiden's rhapsody. The truth will give you nightmares. Or make you crack up. Your choice.) Five seconds passed. Kanda did not come and kill Lavi.  
"Something truly horrible must have happened to Yuko!" Lavi whispered, horrified. Suddenly, she caught sight of a long, black ponytail through the crowd. She trotted a bit closer. A cream blouse. Light blue Empire skirt. Then, the person turned and talked to an old lady who was smiling. It was the very swordsman (swordwoman?) that they had been looking for. Kanda.  
"YUKO! YOU'RE OKAY!" cried Lavi, leaping onto her friend and hugging her, ignoring the fact that this would surely result in violent bloodshed.  
"Kyaa!" Kanda said in surprise.

'Kyaa?' thought everyone and everything that had ever met Kanda. Allen could've sworn the Earth itself stopped moving for a moment out of shock. Lavi jumped off of Kanda and looked her up and down. Yes, it was Kanda. But the expression on her face... Lavi had never seen it before. It looked so..._feminine_ and _vulnerable_ and _gentle_ and _shocked_ and _sweet_ and _cute_ and _completely_ non-Kanda.  
"H-Have we met?" stuttered the girl. Stuttered. Kanda just stuttered.  
"Can we help you, miss?" asked the old lady, looking worried.  
"Allen. I think the universe just broke," said Lavi. Allen, who had caught up, stared at the slightly scared and shy-looking Kanda in front of them.  
"Lavi, you found Kanda?" Lenalee questioned, dashing up to them with Marie and Link in tow.  
"I'm honestly not sure," Lavi answered uneasily.  
Kanda blinked timidly at them all, confused (AN: Yes, you read right. _Timidly. _That wasn't some sort of  
horrible mistake. Go get a dictionary and check you really know what timid  
means if you want).  
"Please wear a different expression, Kanda. I think I'm gonna throw  
up," Allen said.  
Kanda looked hurt for a moment, then confused again. "Who's this Yuko Kanda person you're talking about? Are you talking to me?" The second statement was, while not an unusual thing for Kanda to say, said in complete seriousness, not in sarcasm or disgust. Her expression was so confused and upset that most of the group wanted to burst into tears, hug her and tell her everything was going to be ok (AN: not Link, of course. Not Timothy either. Wait, where is Timothy?! *runs off to find out where he is during all of this*).  
"Do you know this girl?" the woman with Kanda asked. "I found this young lady in an alleyway, she seemed quite disorientated, so I thought I'd take her down to the police station."  
_Kanda must have knocked her head after Komlin sent her flying, _Allen thought. _She must have some kind of amnesia.  
_"Don't worry, we'll take care of her," said Lenalee. "Thank you for your help."  
"Not at all," said the woman, smiling and walking away.  
Turning back to the issue at hand, the entire group sighed. Kanda still had _that _look on her face.  
"Kanda, do you know who I am?" Lenalee said, pointing to himself. Kanda slowly shook her head.  
"What about him? Do you know who this man is?" he pointed to Marie this time. They held their breath. Surely Kanda would remember one of the first  
people he had met at the Order.  
Kanda shook her head again. Marie slumped, looking gloomy (AN: Imagine dark  
lines coming over him and the word 'GLOOM' written above him. Poor Marie). Kanda blinked, and reached over, grasping Marie's headphones and examining them.  
"What are these odd things?" she asked, letting go of them so that they smacked back over his ears. Marie winced. "Ah, sorry," Kanda  
apologised. Lavi and Allen tried not to throw up. Now she was saying sorry. This was beginning to be physically painful.  
Just then, Lavi remembered something. "Hey, Lenalee, Where's Timothy? Wasn't he with you?"  
"Where the heck did you guys go?! I looked around and you were all gone!" yelled Timothy, pushing through people to get to them.  
"What a cute little boy!" cried Kanda.  
Timothy screeched to a halt, staring at Kanda, who was staring back, albeit adoringly.  
"Who are you and what have you done with the real Kanda?!" Timothy demanded.  
"Excuse me, I have to go puke out my insides," moaned Allen.  
"I'm confused..." Kanda said.

* * *

AN: Oh my god. This was actually physically painful to write. I think I killed off some brain cells with Kanda's reaction to Timothy. I HOPE YOU PEOPLE ARE HAPPY NOW. FIRST YOU TAKE MY FREE TIME THAT COULD'VE BEEN USED TO WATCH THE ANIME, NOW YOU TAKE MY BRAIN CELLS. WHEN WILL IT END. But seriously. Remind me to never write something like this again. Oh my Yullen.  
Normal Kanda: I feel violated... *vein pop*  
Lavi and Allen: *puke*  
Every other character: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET LIKE TORTURING US?! WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO YOU?! CHANGE KANDA BACK! CHANGE LENALEE BACK!  
Komui: Komlin... *sniff*  
No, not yet guys. I still have stuff to do. Can't disappoint the fans, now can we? KOMUI, STOP MAKING KOMLINS. YOU KNOW THEY'LL JUST BE DESTROYED. DOES ROUVELIER EVEN KNOW ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING.  
Anyway. TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. REJOICE, ALL. I'm so awesome, I get a long weekend for my birthday :3 Seriously, my birthday's on Labour Day this year. BAHAHAHA. I got Doctor Who series 6 part 1, a Fourth Doctor episode plus a documentary from its 30th anniversary, a travel mug, an art shop voucher, and last but most certainly not least, D. GRAY-MAN ANIME COLLECTION 4 (the one with Lavi on it).  
My cat's name is officially Tama :) She's been here a week now, and my family goes back and forth between adoring and detesting her. She's not much of a cuddler, but she's very cute. Now that I think about it, she's kinda like Lavi. Mischievous, trouble-maker, annoying, yet unbelievably lovable all at the same time. But she lacks his supreme sexiness x.x (I prefer Kanda though)  
I'm going to a pop culture festival soon, VIC MIGNOGNA (Ed in Fullmetal Alchemist, Tamaki Suou in Ouran Highschool Host Club, and the Akuma Clown in volume 2/episode 3-5) and NATALIA TENA (Tonks in Harry Potter) WILL BE THERE. AND I CAN GO SEE THEM AND GET THEIR AUTOGRAPHS AND GET A PICTURE WITH THEM. But I'm unsure whether or not to cosplay. I wanted to go as Allen, or Road like I did last year at a different festival, but I don't quite want to be wearing a wig or makeup or odd costumes when I get photos with Vic and Natalia. I could go as Ed, if I managed to get the right sort of clothes, but I dunno. What do you guys think? My awesomesauce cousin will be coming with me, as either the Doctor, Clara (his new companion. AMY. RORY. WHY), or a hobbit.  
Ed and Allen often strike me as being quite similar. They're both short, they both have an older guy friend (in the loosest sense of the word) with black hair who is badass, annoys the hell out of them, and is voiced by Travis Willingham (Kanda and Mustang), an annoying wierdo friend who gets caught by the enemy at some point (Lavi and Ling), a girl who's constantly worried about them and gets upset whenever she's a burden (Lenalee and Winry), a wierdo friend who fawns over his female relative (Komui and Hughes) they both have an unusual arm, and when they were kids they both tried to bring back their parent with disastrous consequences (Mana and Trisha). Oh, and their enemies look down on humans (the Noah and the Homonculi).  
That is all. You are dismissed. OH YEAH, REVIEW! REVIEWS FILL THE SOUL! EVERY REVIEW YOU SEND IS A PUNCH TO ROUVELIER! SEND ME HAPPY BIRTHDAYS! BE GENERALLY AWESOME! Or as the tenth Doctor might say, be magnificent. *runs off without doing a disclaimer*  
Everyone:...Thank god she doesn't own us characters, or D. Gray-man. (that there is your disclaimer, people)


	9. Chapter 9

Link pulled his covers closer around him, not wanting to get up. He had a pounding headache, plus it was warm in his bed. Walker would probably still be asleep. His job could wait. Come on, what could happen so early in the morning?  
"OHHHHH MYYYY GOOODDDDD!" screamed someone. Link's eyes shot open. He leapt out of bed, tearfully bidding farewell to its warmth and comfort.  
"What happened?! What's going on?!" he yelled, bursting into the female exorcists' room.  
"GET OUT DOUBLE-MOLE HOLY SH*T WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON YUKO WHY ARE YOU IN MY BED?!"  
"It was too cold in my bed," Kanda said, pouting.  
Allen, Lavi and Link all face-palmed. Kanda was going to want to kill herself when she remembered who she was. Actually, she'd probably kill them too.  
"Are you guys ok?" asked Lenalee, coming into the room, Marie behind him.  
"Yuko is trying to give me a heart attack!"  
"I-I'm sorry..." whimpered Kanda, tears in her eyes.  
"Oh, for crying out loud..." muttered Marie, joining the group of people face-palming.  
"We really need to get that akuma," said Timothy, popping up from behind Lenalee. "I don't know how much more of this I can stand."  
"Agreed," everyone except Kanda said firmly.

The level two was bored. As fun as it was, his weapon only worked at close range, and his 'patients' kept getting away. But as long as he said nothing about the exorcists he let get away, the Earl surely wouldn't get mad.  
He leant over the edge of the building, searching for a new target.  
"Flame wings!"  
The akuma screamed as a fiery explosion knocked it off of its perch, and it smashed into the ground.  
"Damn it, who did that?!" the akuma yelled. He glared up at a figure standing on a window ledge.  
"Finally. We've been looking for you," Link said.  
The akuma swore. His human form, a kindly-looking young doctor with glasses, hadn't fooled this one at all. But he wasn't an exorcist. Those annoying seals the blonde man was using couldn't destroy him.  
"Bah! Filthy human!"  
He transformed into his true appearance. His claws were as sharp as blades, but fine enough to act as needles with which he could inject his victims with the akuma virus that would reduce them to dust in moments. His head elongated until his face looked like that of a wolf, but with a long serpent-like body, wings and only two arms.  
"Kyaa! What is that thing?!" cried Kanda, clutching Marie's arm behind Link.  
"Please stop that, Kanda," Marie groaned. "Noel Organon!"  
The akuma snorted at the wires surrounding him, launching itself into the sky. With nothing for the strings to attach to so that the akuma would get tangled, Marie couldn't use his weapon.  
The akuma laughed malevolently, but inwardly he was sweating. His special skill was only usable at close range; but if he got close enough to use it, then the large man would be able to use his weapon on him. The demon gritted his jaws. It seemed that they were at a stalemate. _What now?_ it thought, almost comically. (AN: Don't you just love those sweat drop moments?)  
Allen stared at the akuma intently.  
"Why isn't it attacking?" murmured Lavi next to him.  
The white-haired girl willed her eye to react to the akuma. She knew that there was a soul attached to it; she knew how much it must be suffering; it felt like there was a cloth draped in front of the soul, so that it was just out of view. Allen grimaced, hitting her forehead where her pentacle scar was out of frustration. _I'm an exorcist! Why can't I do anything?! Why won't my eye react?! Answer me, Crown Clown!  
_"Well? Attack us, akuma!" yelled Link. He, too, wouldn't be able to use his weapons at this range, but they still had Timothy. He sneaked a glance in the boy's direction; he was sneaking towards the akuma, trying to get close enough to use his weapon. _Damn it, is everyone out of range right now?! _(I have no idea if Timothy has a certain range when it comes to possessing akuma, so I'm guessing here. For the story's sake I'll assume he does)  
The akuma realised something. They were acting too casual about this. What if there was another exorcist? _  
_"Ow! Stupid trash can!" Timothy tripped over a metal trash can, making a lot of noise, most of it his own swearing. Pretty much everyone sweat-dropped.  
"Damn you, stupid exorcists!" the akuma roared. Diving forward faster than the humans' eyes could track it, it swooped to the ground until it was within a few metres of Marie, and snatched up Kanda, back in the air before they could blink.  
"Agh! Kanda!" Allen yelled.  
"Oh no!" Lenalee cried.  
"Eek! Let go of me, you creepy snake thing!" Kanda screamed.  
"Haha! You guys won't attack your own comrade, will you?! If I see any of you try to attack, I'll fill this one up with my poison!" the akuma smirked. "My special ability allows me to change a person completely. I can change their appearance, gender, anything I want. It's surprisingly useful in turning humans against each other. I can even change whether or not a person is _alive _or not. I managed to give you four enough to change your genders, but I was trying to kill you. You guys were just a bit too fast. That girl, well, boy now, over there seems to have had quite the annoying weapon. Of course, I managed to change you enough to make you all unable to use Innocence as well. Lucky me!"  
"And your 'luck' just ran out, akuma."

* * *

AN: Don't ya just LOVE cliffhangers? Don't worry, all will be revealed in the next chapter! Sorry if this one was short. I'm trying. Anyway, my dears, I have returned, and with a VENGEANCE!  
Sorry I've been neglecting this story for so long. I've been dealing with a bit of writer's block, and school has been keeping me busy.  
I'll keep this one shortish, my ANs are way too big in comparison to the story. Thank you if you read my two recent one-shots. Heck, thank you for reading this! Please take a little time to review, I like reading your opinions, and it really helps to motivate me. *black WouldBeExorcist* REVIEW, I SAID! *grabs Judgement and starts shooting at you all* BAHAHAHAHAHAAAA. Oh yeah, and check out The Accomplice's work sometime. She's awesome, her work's awesome, I'm awesome, you're awesome, so why not! Let's all frolic in our awesomeness together. But yeah. This story's winding down. Only one or two chapters left, unfortunately. But don't leave now! I still love you... *hangs onto your legs* Oops, I said I'd keep this short.  
Disclaimer: -man belongs to Hoshino, I won't even try to claim it as my own, because I know you guys will attack me like wolves if I did.  
Tata! I'll update soon!  
Accomplice: You always say that...  
Hey! Shut up!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I, WouldBeExorcist, do not own any characters of -man, nor -man itself.  
Everyone: THANK GOD FOR THAT!

* * *

"And your 'luck' just ran out, akuma," smirked Kanda, twisting out of the akuma's grip and onto its back, grabbing its wings. "Now, Marie!"  
The akuma roared in frustration as it began to drop towards the ground. Marie blinked, sending out his wires in an instant. The monster bucked, sending Kanda flying off its back. It managed to fly out of Marie's range, but one arm and a chunk of its tail were sliced off. It screeched in pain as Kanda dropped to the ground.  
"Wha-?! Kanda?!" Allen yelled.  
"Did you get your memories back, Yuko?" asked Lavi.  
"Call me that and I'll kill you!" growled Kanda.  
"Yuko! You are back! And violent as ever, I see!" said the redhead joyfully, quickly hiding behind Lenalee.  
"Che. Seems that damn akuma's ability slowed down my healing abilities (AN: Imma just throw caution to the wind here and make everyone totally aware that Kanda's abilities are in no way humanly possible), so I couldn't get over that amnesia as quickly. Speaking of which," she said, turning to glare at Lavi and Marie. The two shivered in fear. "If either of you- no, if ANY of you EVER speak of ANYTHING that happened in the last few hours, you can consider the cemetery's newest residents!"  
The akuma scoffed. "No need to worry about that! You may have surprised me with that shot, but all of you will be dead by dawn!"  
Allen suddenly felt her eye activate, staring at the unfortunate akuma's tortured soul floating above it in its ropes and chains.  
"Allen! Your eye's back to normal!" Lenalee cried.  
"Ah! Does that mean we're all fixed up?!" Lavi yelled, quickly looking down at her chest. "Darn it..." she cursed, moping on the ground.  
"I think the akuma's ability's weakening now that it's injured," Lenalee said.  
The akuma grimaced. "I told you! You won't live to see the sunrise!"  
"Won't we?" asked a French-accented voice. "Try telling that to Paris's greatest thief!"  
"Huh?" said the akuma, before feeling a great wrenching feeling of jaws ripping his consciousness from his own body.  
"No... No!" were his last thoughts.

"Imagine me, a doctor of all people, contracting a terminal disease," the man laughed wheezily, before breaking into coughs, trying his best to hide the blood that remained in his palm afterwards. "I'm not long for this world."  
"Please, darling, don't talk like that!" his wife sobbed, clutching his other hand. "I'm sure you'll get better! You have to!"  
"I'm sorry... if I could change things I would, but that's impossible. I'd hoped to at least make a difference before I died... but now..." the man started coughing violently again before lying down and closing his eyes for the last time. "... I love you..."  
"My poor child," the Millenium Earl cackled, eyeing the crying widow next to her husband's dead body. "Your husband wished so much to make a difference, and to help people... what if I could bring him back for you! You'd have your beloved husband back, and he would be able to help people. What do you say? Do we have a deal?"  
And like so many before, the doctor and his wife fell victim to the Earl's trickery, and had become an akuma.  
Timothy swiftly possessed the akuma, waiting until it had been completely Innocencified before starting to move. Rather than a sinister wolf-headed snake, the akuma now looked more birdlike, like the mythical Quetzalcoatl (AN: For those who aren't familiar with Aztec mythology, Quetzalcoatl was an ancient God who looked like a feathered serpent. Some people reckon the Aztecs saw Quetzals, birds with very long tails, and thought they were serpents with wings. Hence the 'Quetzal' bit in the name. I'll shut up now.).  
"As always, thank you for a good meal, master," said Tsukikami with a small burp, swallowing the last of the akuma's consciousness so that its soul could go to heaven.  
A large group of level ones suddenly flew out at the exorcists from the rest of the town, flooding the sky above them.  
"Damn, these must be the akuma that one was controlling," said Link. "Take cover, you four. Leave this to those who's weapons are working."  
"Our weapons... that's right!" cried Lenalee. "Timothy!"  
"Yeah?!" Timothy yelled, stabbing an akuma with his syringe claws and purifying it.  
"Go back to your own body! If that akuma is destroyed, then its affects on us will be erased! Then we'll be able to fight!"  
"And I can be a dude again!" Lavi added.  
"Are you sure about this?" Link said to the Chinese exorcist. "You might not go back to normal right away. Then Marie would be on his own in this fight."  
"He's right!" yelled Marie from where he was fighting. "And I'm not sure I can hold out against this many for that long!"  
"It's worth a shot!" Allen called out to the two fighters.  
"Ugh! Fine," Timothy answered, leaving the akuma's body to go back to his own. The serpentine form exploded into dust after a few moments.  
Lavi pulled her hammer out from her pocket, spinning it in her hand. "Innocence, activate!"  
The hammer then grew to its true, enormous size. "AWWWW YEAHHH! I'm BACK, baby! Still a girl, but I'm BACK!" she yelled. She leapt into the air, spinning her hammer again.  
"Fire stamp! Hell-fire and ash!" the redhead slammed the hammer down on the road.  
"Mugen, activate! Ichigen!"  
Hideous insects took shape from Mugen's shimmering path, chasing after akuma and devouring them.  
Lenalee's Dark Boots encased his legs (AN: I hope for everyone's sake they chaged a bit to look more manly. No one wants to see a dude Lenalee in high heels) and he soared into the sky, obliterating the monsters as she went.  
And Allen revelled in the joy of having his arm back in action, and being able to save the unfortunate souls of so many. Even if she was wearing a skirt.

"Jerry, you have no idea how much I've missed your cooking," Allen sighed as he (AN: *sob*) collected his mountain of food.  
"Aw, I know what you mean, honey," said the Indian cook sympathetically. "I'm sure they didn't feed you nearly enough in that town."  
The boy went over to the table Lenalee (back in her miniskirt), Lavi (happily male) and Kanda (still furious from the events of the last few days) were sitting at, Link following close behind.  
"...And I went to visit Mrs Farman again before we left, she's back to normal too. You should have seen the mayor's face! She slapped him and started yelling at him for being such a jerk to her," Lenalee was telling Lavi.  
"Wow. Go Alicia Farman," the redhead replied. "Oh, yeah, Two-spot. You take pictures of things to go in your reports, right?"  
"Yes, I do," said the CROW suspiciously. "Why do you ask?"  
Lavi smirked. "Do you think I could borrow some?"  
Kanda started to glare. "Relax, I'm not interested in your pictures right now, Yu," said the junior Bookman before the other man could start. Lenalee felt a sudden ominous feeling of dread come down on her. "Oh. Oh no. Lavi, you wouldn't," she said.  
Lavi grinned evilly as he swiped the photos of male Lenalee in the skirt before they swapped clothes off of Link. "Oh, Branch Director Bak! How nice to see you! I have something extra special to show you!"  
The Eurasian turned to look at the devious redhead. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling that he should forget about his meeting with Komui and go right back home to the Asian branch.  
"N-no! Lavi! Don't you dare show those to Bak!" Lenalee cried. Bak felt a little heartbroken for a moment. _There's something that Lenalee doesn't want me to know? Am I that untrustworthy? Do you not like me, Lenalee? _Then he saw the pictures. And his mind decided to break before Lavi showed him anything else.  
"Director Baaaak! Hang in there!" Wong wailed over Bak's braindead body, as Reever walked up to Lavi, curious.  
"What've you got there, Lav-" Reever joined Bak on the floor, twitching in horror. Lenalee cringed.  
"HAHAHAHA! That's revenge for making me wear a skirt! And taking me shopping!"  
"Idiot! THAT was payback for being such a sexist pig! I thought you would've changed after that mission, but you're as bad as ever! Come back here, damn it!"  
"...Just what happened on your mission?" Miranda asked, slightly horrified. _Lavi wore a skirt?_  
Marie was about to answer her when Kanda shot him the filthiest, angriest, most imminent doom-prophesising glare he had ever given another person. Marie may not have been able to see it, but he could feel it. Which is saying quite a lot even for Kanda's glares.  
"Some things are really better off left unsaid, Miranda," Marie said finally.  
Allen finished eating and stood up, dodging Lavi and Lenalee's epic battle in the doorway as he walked to his room.  
"Oh, Allen," called Johnny. "Komui says he has a mission for you. Could you go to his office as soon as possible?"  
"Sure," he answered.  
"Hey, Allen!" Timothy called out to him, catching up to the older boy. "You're going off on another mission already?"  
"Yeah, an exorcist's job never really ends, after all," Allen said, smiling slightly.  
"So what're you guys gonna do with those clothes you bought?"  
"Well, Kanda threw his in the nearest fireplace the moment he got back," Allen said, recalling the swordsman staring into the flames slowly consuming the skirt and whispering, "Buuuuuurn...", "And Lavi gave his to Lenalee."  
"What about you?"  
"Oh... I threw them away. I mean, it's not like I'll use them again," Allen answered nervously.

The boy sighed as he started to pack his things for the next mission, which was in Prague. He glanced at the russet skirt and white top still lying on his chair. He picked them up, folded them, and put them in a corner of his wardrobe where hopefully, no one would see them for a long, LONG time. He smiled almost fondly at them.  
_It was a nice change of pace, after all, _he thought, as he closed the door.

_Change of Pace_  
_-End-_

* * *

AN: Um...I really don't know what to say at the moment, so I'll just let my feels pour out for a bit here.  
First of all, sorry I didn't update for a while, only doing oneshots and things for a little while. But here it is, the END OF CHANGE OF PACE. Oh gosh. I'm actually getting really upset here. A few months ago, I got this crazy idea for a fanfiction and put it on this website. I can't even put into words how happy you guys made me, motivating me and telling me how good this story was. Every time I saw a new review for this story, I became really happy, whether it was a guest, a random member of this website, or one of my favourite authors who had taken time to look at my stories. I'll name just a few, and thank them.  
Kavilene, author of You Will Not Walk Alone. You are plain and simply awesome.  
NefasSegador, formerly DiosSegador, author of Counterpart. Your little remarks really perked me up.  
Yanatobosofan's-friend, author of A Love Not At First Sight. We haven't chatted since about Chapter 3, but it was nice having you there all the same, reviewing and supporting me.  
And, oh gosh, the Queen of all crazy internet friends and chocolate chips, the author of The DGM Rulebook herself (DRUM ROLL PLEASE), The Accomplice! My friend, thank you. For being there for me to talk to, inspiring, motivating, and giving me ideas for new stories. And putting up with my overflowing feels when I finished Code Geass the other day. BIG BEAR HUG AND A PACKET OF GUMMY BEARS FOR YOU.  
And last, but most definitely not least, you. Yes, you there. Sitting, standing, in your room, at school, at work, on the bus, in the car (shame on you though if you're driving while reading this), whatever country in the world, whoever you are. Thank you. For clicking on a link that led to a story made up by a weirdo like me, a complete newbie, my very first story. And (hopefully), liking it. Your support meant the world to me. Thank you, everyone.  
*sob* oh my Yullen, I'm getting too emotional here. Kanda, give me a hug.  
Kanda: Wha-hey-no, get off! You made me wear a skirt!  
Only because I care.*hug*  
Okay, time to wrap this up. I'll see you again, mister. One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be not regrets, no tears, no anxieties. (HOWZAT, TWO DOCTOR WHO QUOTES FITTING IN PERFECTLY) I'm going to upload a new story soon. Not in the next few days, but soon. I have a crossover in mind, an OC I'd like you all to meet, a story featuring myself and The Accomplice, -man versions of both Romeo and Juliet, AND The Sound of Music (would those count as crossovers...?). So keep an eye out. And I'll type. And remember, however bad you might feel one day, however sad, just remember that by reading this and putting up with my antics, you made me happy. And that is a fantastic thing to do for someone. Thanks again. Goodbye. I hope to see you again soon.

(Did I sound really emo there or what? Anyway. Please review and tell me if you liked the way I wrapped the story up! Thank you! Sayonara!)


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